“God Let’s Talk”

If you are truly a God,

why put these negative thoughts in my mind?

Why force me to struggle,

when evil people are having heaven here on

earth?

Where were you to help my dad

or even help him grow as a man,

as his own man,

so that he would stop cheating on mom

and beating her?

Where were you

when was I getting molested?

Why did you sit there

and let it happen?

Why didn’t you intervene

all those times that I was bullied.

What about my abusive ex

when she was beating me

to then turn the knife to myself

to keep from hurting her,

trying to take myself out

because I thought that it

was the best way to get out of that relationship.

What about Fabian

and him committing suicide?

Are you going to tell me

that you work in “mysterious” ways?

Or that you “called” him home?

How can you sit here

and require me to worship you

having me believe that you’re all good

when you the all-powerful God is allowing

bad things to happen.

Picking and choosing

who you want to bless.

Aren’t we supposed to all be your

children?

Tell me why I should worship someone

who allowed all of this to happen to me,

and not only to me,

but my people.

Why must I worship the same God

that the slave owners

who raped,

who molested,

who fed black children to alligators,

who started wars,

stripped a people of their identity,

went on lynching mobs,

justify the heinous things done to black people

all in the name of Jesus.

Tell me why I should worship you.